After midnight.

Its nearly midnight, and i just wokeup. Those stupid dreams awakes me. What happend to me ?! Im getting cold. Im cold. Kajar kajar. Lapar. Missing. Guilty. Loves. Idk ! All i know, i really hate when this happend. Its almost 4days sudahh. Im being fcut up. Whichh no one ever know. No one care.. Why would i tell at the first place ? Nahh, i guess its better this way. Better off alone sometimes. But then, when i think wisely, guiltyness hunt me. Am i wrong to be this way ? Is it me sebenarnyaa ? Idk.. Shit happens. :\

yes, i wokeup and finds that my phone was outofbattery. Again, i fall asleep when its online. I was waiting for someone actually. And yeahh.. Indaa menjdi since i fall asleep. Then, i charged my phone and turn it on. I received some text msges. One msg is frm my, baaby should i said ? And yeahh.. Again, the mixed fcut up feelings hunt me down. So, my ego-ness indaa mauu mauu kalahh. Whichh i did replied simply.. Fcuk, i just dont know what to do sudahh. What am i doing kn ? Am i doing something wrong ?! Am i not that good ?! Antahh ! Paluii rasaakuu awal ani. Bnrthh.. :S

i just wishh that i could make youu happy. What ever youu wanted. I dont deserved this. I dont deserved shit thimgs happens. All i ever wanted is just to take a very good care of youu before im gone. Make youu smiles everydaynight. Shared happiness. Created some loves. Trusted. Believe. Being perfect just between youu and me. With no doubt and being close to god. And going to the right path of lifes ? I deserved that better. I pray for that.. Eventho im not that perfect enough to be good, but yeahh, i did pray for us, our families, our lifes, and mostly i pray for someone like youu. But, yeahh.. Maybe, this is just part of the deal. Dugaan should i say ? Hmm..

Sabar ? I am.. I am being sabar sudahh all this time. Only god knows well. I even skipped all those crappy shitness. I dont even think, not even a single dot about it. Anything that cann hurts me, i just skipped it for all this time. I know those shitness might killed me. Whichh i am very disapointed now. I just cant help me. I cannt ! Me being this shitty situations ? That was just so wrong ! Buknn akuu waa tuu. I dont deserved that. I dont want that. Shitfcuk ! ;(

baie bnr ihh.. Emo muchh ! Bancii waa kuu nie cemani ani. Bnr.. I hate it when all my body getting weak. Lamah. And mcm budoh. Hayal waa tuu. Hehh.. What now ?! Being dungngu ? Stupid ? Dumbass ? Serious shit, i'd rather hit the pot then think too muchh. And, god.. Please, help me. Maybe i was too blind to see. And please god, take those shittyness away from me. Please.. I love her too much that i dont want anything happend to her. Please, god.. Shes the girl in my prays. And please god.. Its me actually need those. Help me to open up everything just to reach youu, god. Please.. I need some strength awal ani. Forgives me for my any wrong doings all this time. And please god.. Lastly, please make me happy with her. She is all i ever needed, Nurikramin Iwani. Iloveyouu, sayangg. And im sorry for everything. I meant it. Like, seriously ? ;'] -ikramin iwani's..