Maybe i deserved this.

On the 14th of february 2010, it was a very nice day that, people celebrate valentine's and the chinese celebrate chinese new year. And on that day, i was attending to a function in qlap. Long story short, before my attention to the function is core. Until, i saw a different smiles that melts my feelings. The girl in yellow shirt. She was tall, all i cann say. And i started to lost my attention to the speakers. Those smiles bothered me. Until the functions ended.

When it ends, i got to know her little infomations. Which sooner after that, i received a msg frm her cousin and asking me to add her msn, so i did. And she told me that, the girl in yellow shirt wants to get to know me. So yeahh.. I really felt so lucky that time. And few days after that, i got the chance, again to meet her. In a small function at my bungsu's place. And that time, i started to do the talking. Whichh, shes scared to respon i believe. *i still remember that face. And we were talking about fb and all. And yes, i added her i think. So, we did contacting and all.

Until, the day she went to my place for some function. Which, i started to touch her face, i started to look her smiles closely, and thats when i started to have the weirdness feelings. As i mentiond last last time. Mixed feelings. Everything in one. And that night, i realized that im inlove withh her. Which, thats when i say i loves her. And after that, my loves to her are getting more and more. Where missing started to get involved..

And untill now, im still wanted to know her well. I go thro her past lifes, her everything. Eventhough jealousy started to hunt me down. But, i dont care. Cause my love to her is just tooo fragile. And im trying my best to not be broken. Not even a little. Eventhough, tears are started to interupt on our relation, but im still finding a way to the better ones. With the help of my prayer. Our prayer. Withh god's willing, i promise to live my life with just her. I know its sound so strange, but yes. Shes enough for me sudahh. And i even told my mum all about her this lately. Walaupun, this lately we're not in a very good condition, but still. That wont change my love to her.

This is just some confession truely from my heart. Once i love, doesnt mean, it ends easily. To me, i deserve it more and more loves. Rather then anyone else. All i needed is just her to love me. Not just love, but to THINK of me. That would be enough for me. Since she was asking about ends, here i wanna say it, my loves to youu are never ends. Eventho i failed, youu failed, doesnt means everything is ended. To me, it means, that is just the begining. Theres always another way to a better one.

Being silent is never the problems, being jealousy is not what i aimed, being hurts is just part of the deal, and being withh youu is a heaven falls to me. Once i said it, i really meant it. Eventho youre not around me all the time, but to me youu are here besides me where youu were just smiles like the first time i saw youu. I tears myself sometimes, which i know theres no reason for that. And i just know that we could be a better, rock, great, couple together. And its just when we tuned it abit. It will be a perfect love couple. But, i know that, every perfections, mistaken will came along. Once we cant handle it, it cann ruined everything. It even cann killed a life, that im hopefully, wont let it happen to us. And thats the promise ive made to god.

And i know im kindaa emo lately. Is just that, i dont know what to do, what to think and whatever what i should do. Whichh, i finally realized that, theres always an answer to every questions. That means, we should started to walk along the nightmares where shes right besides me and holding my hand. Darkness with no lights ? Yes, and let the prayers guide our way to a better lifes. As long we believe that we could pass thro it, and we will made it. Insha-god.

And the girl ive been talking about is, the girl that i hate right now for making my life's full of blood, and i know that, she never meant to hurts me, which i know that i wont feel the pain. Why so ? Because, Nurikramin Iwani is my heart. Eventho she killed me, i wont bleed. As i said, cause, shes my heart. Shes my soul. Shes my everything. And me, im just a star that lighten up her world to see the future we will created. And, the one i love always. Nurikramin Iwani, i love. And i appreciate muchh to have youu in my life babe. Seriously, i am. As we just trust to each other, which i know thats the tough one, everything will be alright. And believe in me, and believe in yourself. It will be better. Just dont think too muchh problems. That wont help. Trust me, i did that once. Which, fcut up jdinyaa. Incase youre reading this babe, i do miss youu too. Always.. :')

not just misses, but loves. Whichh i want youu here with me all the time. Sampai langgu ? So what ! Thats not listed on my dictionary. So, dont sweat babe. I'll be needed youu indeed. *peluks. Bhh, sembhyangg subuhh ! And i think, i'll stop here. Will update it soon lgii. And yeahh, those who inlove, feels the love. Those who hate love, make something different. Hee. And okehh then, have a goodmorning all. Create a smile on your face this morningg. And pray.. :)

ohh, and abit promotion here, who ever interested in love, relation or what so ever that connected withh love, if youu guys want it to go smooth, read book called, 'the 5 love language' by i forgot ho. It helps me alot. Seriously. Wel, okehthen. Til here, cheers