3rd month of the year.

why is that, thats because, lately, honestly speaking, i lost my focus. On my goal, life, love, and everything. I just dont know what happend to me lately. But somehow, i know it will last and i wont be happening again.

Its all started when i had a fight with my dad. Seriously, being a powerful choleric, your point finger, must control. True what ibu anie told us at the weekends last month. Its not easy to a powerful choleric once their ego's been touch. Anytime, anywhere, it'll explode without using their thinking. Alhamdulilah that i learn how to not to react to something that can causes trouble. Its true, being a powerful choleric, they wouldnt give any chance to other people to win their war. Either his right nor wrong, it will be always right. They just born to be a leader. Always being the "Mr Right."

what im trying to let it out here is about my life this few days back. Im not being myself til i realized that, i always follow what i wanted. It doesnt matter was it bad, good, wrong, or right. Without using any thinking i just shout it out load. I just dont know what happend to me this few days. But, yet.. I dint regrate it. Why ? If im not being that, i wouldnt know nothing til right now. But somehow, i created tears to someone i love the most. Idk how to say sorry. Cause everytime i did, it'll happen again and again. Whats the use of saying sorry ?

But, in other word, it says that, its better to say sorry all the time. Eventho your right, or your wrong. Cause people who felt sorry, actually they sorry for themselves. Realizing and learning form the mistake they had made. Cause, "failure is success when we learn from our own mistakes." but, it tooks time to make the decision. To decide is the hardest part. We all can decide, but not all qualified. Thats the thing. I know that i knew it, but im still doing it. Thats stupid should i say ? But, every broken can be fixed. It'll fades away. The stupidity must go away. And i really hope, i find my answer at the away weekend this coming next weekends. Amin.

What i always wanted is, first, i want to disiplin myself to our Creator. Cause, i know that everything comes from Him. I always wanted to get clean and always prepared to face anything humblely or humanity. Second, i want to have my quality time with the ones i love. Share loves, ideas, everything in positively. A perfect family. Eventho im not that educated guy, nothing to be proud with, at least i want to make my family and the ones i love proud of me. There is something to me. And lastly, i want to change my lifestyle to a better one. To be freedom in and on everything. From my A til Z. I dont want to own stress life like all the wrong quardrant's people have now. I dint say working is a bad thing. But, working to whom is countable. I dont wanna work for people's life, since theres lives who needs people like you to work it out. I just want to be different in many ways. A great life instead of good life. As the secret tot me, to feels and always visualized what type of living lifestyle that we want it.

Wel, it seems im out of words already here. All im hoping here is to have the answers to my questions at the away weekends. Amin.