i know this couldn't be happening.

yes, i know this couldn't be happening. I still don't know who is wrong and who is right. It's just that, all of those words hurt me. Even looking the bites on my body while im looking myself nakedly on the mirror, could hurt me. Like, do i deserved this ? I don't ! I don't want this. Its just to much hurts to handle. God, you know i'm not that strong enough to face all this, alone. ;(

satu, persatu waah mematuk otakku. Mana atu, ani.. Everythings come and hunt me in one time ? God, please gives me the strength to face all this. Because of her, aku sanggup cancel my trip to Thailand this coming june. I did tried to give her the best of me, but everything turns to worst tplng ?

What did i do wrong ?? I know, im not working. I know, im not studying. I know, im not that rich. I know my limits. I have my limits. But, when it comes to her, i just couldn't handle it. Is it me, or is it her ? Idk.. Im clueless here.. I did even asked forgiveness to You, God. Every of my prayers. I even asked some strength for me to face all Your problems.

But indeed, You gave me more problems to handle. I just don't know where should i start. I just don't know where to fix first. Please God, do show me some ways. I believe in You, God.

Am i wrong to have her ? But if i do, why you send her to me ? Why you make me falled in loved with the wrong person at first place ? Why i can't let her go when we both created the sins ? Or maybe because of those sins You want us seperated ? Thats make sence tho. But, why now ?? Why when i started to know her deeply ? Why not at the begining of our love story ? Cause, God, i promise You that only her that i wanna take care of.

She even opended up my heart to reach You back. Why God ? Am i not that perfect for her sudah ? Am i just being tested ? Seriously, i give up. Instead you take back our love and happiness, it's better You took along my heart. Im just too weak to face it. And im too weak to fix it. Why, cause i promise to take care of her and she even made me stay and still fight for my dreams. God, if i do made a mistakes, then i'm sorry and hope You forgives me for my wrongdoing all this year.

Now i realized, how i should love You more in this case. Im just too stupid to gave her all my love til i forget that i should love You indeed. But, somehow.. I thank You for giving me the chance to taking care of her all this year. And i appreciate to have her in my whole life. She is just the best thing ever happend in my life. Eventho, she thinks i'm a wrong person to be with in her life, but to me, you are the best thing ever happend.

She did created baack the smiles on my face. She even made my wounds stop bleeding frm the past. Shes just what i ever wanted all this time. Honestly, i just can't stop my love to love you, wani. Somehow, i thank You, God for what ever happend between us. I always appreciate to have you around, wani. I always gonna put my love to you to a place where it belong. :')